When u say "Sweet Dreams", make sure u don't use numbers

I'm a dreamer.

Some people have dreams occassionally, some just once a while, and some rarely. Me? I Dream! I dream almost everynight... I know, some of my close friends who I at times torture with my dream stories are rolling their eyes right now. Mwahahaha.... Like "No, not about your dreams again" Hahahhahaa.....

I dream sooo much... most of the times, I don't pay attention to em. But if the 'storyline' in my dreams involve some friends or sound interesting, they will be victimised with my stories.

I can recall back my dreams from as early as I was 5. What can a 5 years old kid's dream be like? Some 3-4 monsters circling around the dining table. Round and round... and round and round... and... round and... Ok... I think they get the point!

There's one dream that has been bugging me for quite some time though. I just dreamt about it again a few days ago. A dream where I'd be back in secondary school, in Form 5. I love it when my dreams transport me back to the memories of school days because at times, they just felt so real (revisiting places I used to hang out, joking and running around with friends). But sometimes, this dream would be interupted with an anxious feeling.

I would have a feeling that I have not prepared anything for my SPM, specifically for Add Maths. Suddenly, towards the end of the dream, I would be feeling worried-sick that the big exam is just around the corner and I have not studied a thing, especially Add Maths. I dunno how to put this feelings into words... Like "u start to feel butterflies in your stomach"-kinda feel. It feels like my whole future was at stake and I was not ready. Yalaa.. big exam kan.... and it was as if I was totally clueless and unprepared. I'd be awake after a while, feeling a bit anxious. By then, I'd realise it's just a dream and boleh tarik nafas lega.

I don't dream about this very often though. But I have this dream like from time to time... after a few months or years... but the feeling is the same = worried and Not prepared!

Hmmmm.... but why Add Math? This has to go in X-Files.... kan kan....

Since it's a repeating event, I had some time analysing this X-Files of mine. I've thought of some possibilities:

1. I was a lazy student who never did her Add Math homework. I used to leave my homework blank until the following lesson, I'd be the one asking most questions when Mr.Lo announced to the class "Any questions you want to discuss?" I'd fill in the blanks when the answers were discussed and written on the blackboard. It's weird... I'd do all other subjects' homeworks except for Add Math...Could this be the reason??
2. I never liked tuitions. But the only subject I chose to enrol for tuition was Add Math... I'd be listening to what Mr.Rao taught and tried to remember and understand them. But.. again.... I never did the homeworks.
3. For our debate team, we each had our "so-called bombastic" introductions. Elena, first speaker "As long as Titanic remain sunk, and shall never sail again, I will stand affirm with....." Prema, second speaker "As long as the electron....bla bla bla..." and mine was, "As long as the formula of the roots of quadratic equation is negative b plus minus square root of...bla bla bla" (LOOK at the FORMULA wehh... damn long....) Why on earth did I use that as my intro? Never did AddMath homeworks... got guts to use it for some literature purpose some more!
(maybe I should ask Elena if she has dreams of Titanic ship or... Leonardo di Caprio, maybe? :P)
4. SPM revision? I would do some exercises from revision books, just to get familiar with the structure of the questions and answers. A few days before the paper, I memorised the important formulas for every sub-topics... so even there were certain questions I couldn't answer... I wrote down the relevant formulas and fill in any numbers I'd see in the question, just to bag some marks from my answers... Maybe my method of studies/ answering had violated Pythagoras' theorem or some algebra ethics?? so.. i'm haunted?
5. Maybe Mathematics keep haunting me because I was supposed to take up Math course in my tertiary studies??
6. Or... maybe my Soulmate will be a mathematician?? :P:P HAHAHAHA.... oppss... lari topik!
7. Or is it a sign or a reminder not to take things for granted?

Added: Truth be told, as responded in the comment, I was very playful and kind of carefree during SPM (teruk rite :P). When the whole class would be intensely doing their own revision, I would jump around finding people who I could entertain or sembang2. At home, my sis would be studying for PMR and I would be on TV... Hmmm... Maybe I was too relaxed last time, that the anxiety had been diluted and dispersed into my dreams... possible, no? :S :S but still... why addmath?

But if the Add Math-phobia is a price to pay in order for me to get dreams of beautiful memories of my school days... I'll write the cheque... But then again, I don't really have a choice of what to dream when I fall asleep rite? HAHA....

With That....

GOOD NITE u ollss....

SWEET DREAMS... (or should I say sweet-non-mathematical-dreams) Ahakss....
Sleep tite... ZzzZzzZzzz....

dancing to the throne

This week I did 2 unpredictable things...

1. I went to a camera shop to trade in my flash lite... I end up trading my D60 camera for a second-hand D300. My D60 buyer happened to be one of my friends I brought along to survey camera in the same shop. I misssss my D60 soooo so very much now...

2. I bought something from eBay.

Number 2 is a norm to some people... What is so unpredictable about buying things online? :P Well, it is for me. I am a very skeptical person. I don't think I can buy things I don't physically see. What is happening to me? Doing unpredictable things lately? Ayyaa....

Btw... I bought THIS!






HAHA...

I went to Forever 21, where Jane bought a tiara crown a few weeks ago. Found it. RM39.00. Nice... I liked it. But then, the tiara is not tudung-friendly. For someone wearing a tudung (hijjab), it will be impossible to keep the tiara still.


Since my "expertise" is on Malay wedding, and most my clients wear tudung, I needed a tiara that can fit them. Was not able to find it.

I need a Tiara to cater for outdoor shooting, in case the couple have returned their accessories back to the bridal house.

So I tried eBay. Found a few nice sites with some interesting tiara. I prefer something more simpler, but then I don't think too-simple will look outstanding for tudung, so I went for this one. I really hope it looks nice in real life... ?Need to wait another 1-2 weeks to verify that.

RM 20.00, plus shipment and insurance = RM52.00. Ok laa kan...

I wanted to buy this one. If you notice, there's a heart shape in the middle. It is also simple and fancy at the same time. Eh.... wait!! Why didn't I buy this one??? I am confused! I think it's because it was still on bidding, I didnt want to risk losing it in a bidding... so I went for the one I bought. Huhu....


I like this one: SIMPLE! But looking at it a few times.... it looked more like a hairband than a crown. But I like it... simple and clean. Will look perfect on elegant/contemporary hair-do.


Hehe... was one of my considerations. It has a classic look, but then it won't fit with Malay attires very well. A bit too medieval and too fancy.

Then I saw this... A butterfly? I hope no one wears this for a wedding photoshoot... hihi...

There are some pinky stuff that caught my eyes... I like this one. I think this one is cute, it'll look sweet on a soft/classical hairdo and also will suit garden concepts.
I get so carried away.... tsk tsk tsk....
Weihhh..... Crown shopping is FUN lah !!!!

:D

Revisiting

I used to blog here from 2005 to mid 2006... then I closed my blog (for some unidentified reason), deleting the posts, but kept em in my PC. I didnt know how to delete the blog back then, so I just left it until I realised that my account is still available. 

I blogged back, using friendster's blog. Haha kinda normal syndrome among bloggers eh... change2 blog laa... apa laa.. hhahaha...


I switched back to blogspot as it's easier to link friends etc.. and I dragged along my previous posts from friendster blog here. So what happens to my previous posts from this blog before I decided to "close"? Hehehe.. just for my keep, I guess...

I happen to go thru these files... and reading it back, makes me smile... coz this is one of the posts I'd read and read and read back... Not because I sooo siok sendiri (mungkin jugak, haha)... but because it brings back good memories... good feelings :-) I just want to repost here, so dat I can read back any time I want... (without having to search for the files in my digital treasure box)... for old time sake...

Some posts are re-posted here :P

Klik Klik * I gotcha!

i LOVE photos… digital or printed… especially if a photo has a story to tell.

Since I was small kid, I loved to look at photos very much. Growing up, I’d still be looking at photos of yesteryears and remembering the times they were taken… I dunno, maybe this has helped me in keeping the memories fresh in my head.

In my teenage years, I remember I was always nagged at, by my elder sister, if the photos I took did not have nice angles. Especially when she was in Form 5, I had to take a lot of her self portrait (she wanted to put on friends’ autographs). Her complaints had me on guard everytime I took pictures of people. Center! Balanced! Focused!

I also started to develop love for photos from hi-definition cameras. At that time, manual SLR. Alisa used a SLR since she was 13. Looking at her developed photos, wow… admiration. I thought “hmmm.. bila lah aku leh amik gambaq cun macam ni aaa”. Then, I came across bunch of photos Jessie took, I was mesmerised, which led to, me chasing her for editorial board… hihiihih… I really admire their photography.

For my sis’ matriculation’s graduation, my dad borrowed his collegue’s SLR since our camera was out of order. I was salivating over it, and immediately took control. Hihihi.. konfiden je lebih… But, not all the pictures turned out ok. Malu jek.. hahahaa…

Jump a few years… while I was doing degree, in midst of completing programming assignments and chasing project dues, I found myslef glued to the computer, creating super-imposed photos. Yaa.. talk about spending too much time on computers! :P I nearly got in trouble because of that. After that, I became more sensitive on editing people, because some people may get hurt if we simply brush off or brush in certain things. On the other hand, that gave me a head-start for photo editing.

Then, digital cameras came in the market, but not many owned it yet. I remember Dindi was among the first one having this gadget so we had some digital photos of degree year… thanks to her camera and also bukh’s desa harapan’s camera :P~ Remembering it now… ahaha.. even most of my convocation photos were taken using film-roll camera… hihihi..

After working for about one year… motivated by Alisa’s , I bought a semi-SLR (Sony-H1).

My very own camera… I was sooo excited. Tak henti-henti klik sana klik sini… Never have I planned to do wedding photos. At first, I was only a tag-along photographer, usually providing company to Alisa, who started doing wedding shots using her manual SLR and semi-SLR.

A few months later, Kak Haira gave me her trust to cover her wedding as the official photographer. With my semi-SLR, I took the challenge. From the feedbacks I’ve got, I started to take more challenges, covering weddings even from people who are not in my networks.
At first, I felt stiff, at times a bit shy. I was more gabra than the groom for nikah ceremony… worried if I might missed the most important shot, the akad itself. After some time, I gained more and more confidence. Although, I tend to have gabra-ness every now and then… i’d be recovering fast.

Editing is more tiring than shooting. It involves time and effort… and that can also mean taking away some of the precious times allocated for other things. Perfecting the skills is a must… therefore, I am still learning… As for photography, my Lighting still needs a lot of practise n learning.

Maintanence is also high. Switching to DSLR-Nikon D60 which I currently shoot with, took months of saving. Since I don’t charge as much as professional photographers, I do not earn that much. So maintanence and upgrading has to take months of saving. Yaa.. like many people say, Photography is an expensive hobby… yeahhh.. IT IS! I can buy a big new fridge for my family at the price of a new lense. Hard labour u see… heheheheehe…

But… why I am taking all these trouble… I should say challenge… Trouble sounds so negative lak.

It’s all in the name of Love and Passion :D:D


I quote my sis “Tu la pakwe dia sejati, bawak ke hulu hilir” refering to my camera… hohohoh..oh ya pakwe lama, Sony masih dihatiku… tak sampai hati nak jual balik.

the paper boat

8.30am (*I assume). Ehehe.. I was still sleeping when Ain called me :P

“Auntie nina(x3)… I want a boat”

tgh mamai lagi… but I could feel she was placing a small piece of paper on my palm. Half asleep, I took the paper and tried to make it into a boat… then… I doze off.

“Auntie2… my boat” oopss… tertidur…

Actually I didn’t know what I was doing, I was half asleep and it was pitch black (*my room is super-dark), therefore, I followed my childhood instinct and fold the paper with my eyes still closed.

Then… I realized the shape of the paper was not appropriate, we need a square… and again using instinct, tore away the unwanted area. Ain, without fail, came in every now and then to ask if I’ve completed her boat.

I started folding again. dunno how many failed attempt… reopen and doze-offs… but finally, fold and fold and… yeyyyy.. it’s a BOAT!!! Zzzzz

“Aunty… boatt…" I hand her the boat, she shouted happilly and ran out. If I heard her correct, singing in joy "yeahhh I got a boat… I got a boat…” …

I was like “aaaa… I still have the touch for a paper boat.. yippieee”… and…ZZzzzz …..zzz

* * * * * * * *

Later in the evening… she gave me a piece of paper…

“Aunty Vote“

i wrote an “X“ on the paper… She sulked…

“Aunty… vote laaa“

aaar? what symbol i should draw eh…. “What u want?”

“I want a boat laaa“

oppss… Boat… bukan Vote….

Boat?? hmm boat… why does it sound familiar eh???

Then, the picture of me sleeping in a boat… eh eh.. No… sleeping and making a boat came back to me. “uiksss. Did I really made one or was I dreaming???”

I ask her about the boat…it so happens dat… the boat has taken a voyage… down to my parents room and safely harbored at the back of the TV set…


Ahaks… tadaaaa…. here’s the paper boat…




~ invoke the child in me ~